Happy that it's clicking

(started Tuesday) I hate this feeling of "gosh I'm doing so well with food, but when will it fall apart again?". I suppose it's mostly due to lack of long-term success in that arena to prove that I truly can do it. It was easy at kripalu where they made great vegetarian/vegan food all day long and I had plenty of spiritual/physical/emotional fulfillment, but here in real life, with real-life pains and obstacles, it ain't so easy. It makes me angry that I am waiting for the other shoe to drop instead of congratulating and celebrating my successes. I need to anchor to that positive feeling.

Since it's only my second week of school, and the kids are almost done for the summer, I am waiting out the exercise planning piece. I don't know if I'm just feeling a tad overwhelmed with trying to juggle each day (I think I've already done about 6 or 7 hours of homework in the past week, plus 1.5 hours of hands-on practice - I know I'm going a bit cuckoo on the homework, i.e. reading it all, but I am truly interested by the subjects at hand (hahaha!)).

(completed Wednesday, whoops!) Where the hell was I? Oh yeah - exercise. I find it easier to schedule exercise when the kids are out of school/with their dad, as I can sleep a little later, and still get to the gym and get back in plenty of time to get to work in the mornings. I may not sign up for yoga for the summer, given that I miss many of the classes, and would be better off doing the elliptical/weights and save that money. I'll have to see how that goes.

I did well again last night, not eating after school, although I was super hungry (I had my granola bar & cheese wheel at break) - the challenge with bringing more to eat at snack is that we only get 15-20 minutes for break, and part of that is spent in line for the little girl's room. Plus I don't want to eat a lot if we're going to be practicing massage on each other - it's not exactly conducive to digestion. I drink a ton of water while I'm in class, and usually go through my 32-oz bottle. Of course, I did have a d0ve ice cream bar in the afternoon, and also a chocolate chunk cookie. Oops! Overall the calories were fine, but the quality of those calories was so-so with the treats.

Despite this, the lovely scale read 173 this morning! I'm sure it's a fluke, but it's nice to see it down there. I think the last time I was at that weight was probably between the birth of my daughter and son, about 11 years ago. Sad...we'll see what the next few days bring. I had another chocolate chunk cookie at lunch (there was free lunch from a leftover meeting) and a bag of chips. Hmm...