Nightmare City

I had a terrible nightmare last night about the prez of the company for which I work for another 265 days. It involved me trying to get a presentation to run for a candidate, and the prez was there along with a bunch of other folks, but I couldn't find it on my laptop and then I tried dialing the help desk and the phone number pad was all screwed up and I kept misdialing and I think I was almost pulling my hair out, which I never do in real life. I woke myself up because I was getting so agitated. It was awful, and it just made me more resolute to get the hell out of here next year.

Thankfully I have orientation this Thursday for the massage school, and then I start classes next Tuesday. I'm hoping this will alleviate some of my recently-escalated anxiety/tension. I constantly find my shoulders creeping up towards my ears and I have to make a conscious effort to relax them back down and start breathing again. I try to notice if there is something going on right then to cause this behavior, but it happens at random times, so I conclude it must be an underlying/constant thing. It bugs the crap out of me. I'm hoping that getting off coffee and starting school will help it even more.

Speaking of coffee, I'm on full teecino today (yeah xena!). I had some ginger granola this morning (yum!) with soy milk. I have an apple and an orange and some blueberries; I have grilled chix, baby spinach, red pepper and some baby carrots for lunch, and the usual gouda mini-cheese wheels and some soy yogurt. I journaled a bit while waiting to drop off the son at school, and I think that helped a lot. I was feeling pretty annoyed again; some of it is clear to me but I'm not free to discuss in this space. I am working on some of it with my counselor. At least I'm trying to feel the feelings, which is a huge step for me.

Not clear again on the exercise plan for today; the daughter has track/softball after work so I don't know when I can get to the gym. Overall I feel pretty good, given the tossing/turning of last night and the yucky feelings bubbling up. I think my recent gassiness (sp?) has to do with the iron supplements I have just started taking - it's really uncomfortable, and I'm hoping the pharmacist's recommendation to take it with some m3tamuc1l might help - didn't do that today. I'm sure you're dying for me to keep you posted on this very important subject, so have no fear, I will come through for you.