Lights out, uh-huh!

My intentions were good. I left the house with an orange and a red bartlett pear, some leftover chix curry with tons of veggies (broccoli, cauliflower, different colored peppers) (homemade, no less, although the curry sauce was a packet and I mixed in a can of cheddar cheese soup), and a strawberry yogurt cup. Oh, and the coffe-cino (2/3 coffee 1/3 teecino).

Then the lights went out at work. For almost 2.5 hours. So I "snacked" on some sn1cker's mini's (5? 6?). And then they ordered in pizza for lunch (paid for by the company) and that's what I had instead. Two pieces of feta/tomato/spinach (2 veggies, right?!). And some ginger ale. *sigh*

The scale was screaming 180 this morning, which is amazing because yesterday I was at 177 - WTF?!

Not a good start to the day.

But I don't need to let it derail me for the rest of the day and night, right? RIGHT?

I still have my fruit and yogurt. Dinner is the leftover camping hot dogs with a nice green salad. I still have yoga at 6:30. I'm ok.

Emotions-wise, I was in a pretty sucky place last night and this morning. The bf said I was "surly", even. I am sure it's my reaction to looking down the barrel of getting back on the healthy track and not using food to comfort me. I know the tools and tricks and techniques of "what do I do instead of eating", but actually *using* them is another story. I am very glad I went to yoga - it certainly helped me calm the eff down and breathe a bit. I was still in a crappy place afterwards but a helluva lot better than if I had not gone at all. I *didn't* have the B&J pint (or anything, for that matter) after dinner. That's a very good thing, ms. xena. I cleaned up the kitchen and went to bed instead.

I brought my journal to work and ended up journalling a bit in the dark, which was helpful to let go of some more of my yucky feelings. A few surprising things spilled out of my pen - that is always an interesting and revealing deal. "Is that what was/is inside me?!"

I was planning on losing a pound this week, but I don't even know what my baseline is. I would imagine the 178 is more likely, but the 180 surprised me today. We'll see what happens. I just need to keep feeling those feelings. BLECH!