Lessons

#1 I have been feeling too full all week from breakfast. I decided to measure my portion today, and did 1/2 cup shredded something-or-other (wheat? oat?) and 1/2 cup ginger granola - it was about the same or a little less than I have been eating and it was still too much, which is probably good since the serving size should be closer to 2/3 or 3/4 of a cup. Blueberries on top, yum! They are very mild and sweet right now. And soy milk - will measure that tomorrow.

#2 I can get by on less. These past few weeks, I think my stomach has shrunk, because I get 80% full pretty quickly during my meals, which have also been smaller. It's been a learning for me on stopping (eating) when I start to feel full, which I started to learn at kripalu. It's challenging sometimes.

#3 Getting off coffee is definitely smart for my body. Less anxiety (although that's been creeping back up, along w/my impatience, due to lack of stress-busting cardio workouts), less cravings, no sugar/fat vicious cycle setup, weight coming off faster. Again, I am fully aware that it is mostly due to the half/half & sugar that I would put in it. The cup or two on the weekends might be a safe way to keep the desire at bay. I definitely still miss it. A lot.

#4 School has been an excellent new place for my energy etc., and I find that I'm not medicating with food when work is shitty. Yeah, I was counting the days down before, but now it means something concrete, as I do something every day to get me closer to a new career. Yeah xena! It has also been great in the no-snacking-at-night arena.

#5 I am getting better at being picky about the treats that I do have, which I haven't been denying myself (just in MUCH smaller portions!!!). I have discovered that I really don't like cake or brownies (unless they're really moist/chewy) or most vanilla or fruit-flavored things. I go for the chocolate (only if it's *good* chocolate, though!) or ice cream with smooshies or chocolate chip cookie. I don't tend to have something just because it's sweet & it's there.

#6 Ditto for eating more veggies & less starchy-type stuff. I'm not a proponent of low-carb by *any* means, but I notice that I would prefer to get my veggies and protein (too much still makes me gag, though), and by then I'm often full. Plus I still eat corn and sweet potatoes and granola and cereals, so I'm not really missing anything.

#7 Speaking of medicating my feelings, I was extremely frustrated at the end of work yesterday, and I'm still not clear why (I have a good idea about most of it, but some of it still doesn't make sense). I had my long ride to school, made even longer by the POURING rain and traffic, and I didn't put any music or spoken-word CD's on. I sat with the feelings. I pored over them. I analyzed them. I felt the frustration and anger and irritation, even though I didn't know the full source. I named the feelings, and let them go through me, and I felt so much better afterwards. I also had my handheld tape recorder for school, and had the brilliant idea to talk about what was going on, which is always powerful for me (vs. just thinking about it or writing it down) - there is something about speaking aloud that has such impact on my ability to get through/over things.

#8 Despite the power of speaking aloud, I am very glad that I started this blog. It has become a place to record my successes and my disappointments, my good eating habits and my not-so-great habits. It is good for accountability for me, and it keeps me focused (most of the time) on what my fitness/health goals are. I have no idea about the impact it might have on others, but it is working wonders for me. Thank you, cyberspace, for listening.