The return of the cravings - now showing in full 3-D!

I was afraid that this would happen. I am in serious craving mode this week, and I have conveniently identified someone/thing to blame! Besides TOM, of course, which is such a convenient excuse a week out of every month!

The stress of work has returned in full force. Although I still have my lessons learned from my month away, I am not employing them daily and therefore the old habits, the traditional comfort of food, especially chocolate-based, is calling its siren song. Wailing. Screeching. Pounding into my head. And then someone came to chat with me during his lunch, and he had a yummy cafeteria chocolate chip cookie. Damn him! It looked so good! And he didn't even offer me a piece! I don't know how I can escape the image, the craving, the supposed *need*. Logically I know that it's not a Need, it's a Want. I do want it real bad. And I'm supposed to start TOM any day now, so that makes it a gazillion times worse (or googleplex, as my son likes to say). I just had a banana, and although the sweetness was a small satisfaction, it didn't erase the image in my mind. So I can have it because it's *today*, right, and I can go back to my newly-learned habits *tomorrow*, right? I've also been craving coffee BIG TIME as well. Really, just the caffeine-high and sugar & cream in it.

I have been working out, so that's a saving grace somehow, I'm sure. I almost always make better food choices when I have been working out. Now this morning, I thought I had set my alarm for 5:40 to get up for yoga. Nope, it was set for 6:40. ARGH! I was even in bed before 9:00 last night - you would think that would wake me up early, but no no no. I've eaten well today otherwise. Why am I already talking like something has happened? I have not consumed any chocolate or sweets or anything yet, and I do believe I've convinced myself otherwise. I had granola w/soy yogurt and a tablespoon of natural PB for breakfast, an orange, salad w/peppers/flaxseed, strawberries, black bean mush. Yes, I can see now that I have been eating a lot of sugar today, even if it's "all natural". Hmmm. And I still have yogurt/granola in the wings, which again does have a goodly amount of sugar.

I'm just not sure I can resist the chocolate. *sigh*

So since Monday I have done gentle yoga, Tuesday was more vigorous yoga, and last night was elliptical and chest/arms. On the plus side, despite my bloating etc., I'm still weighing in at a smidge under 175 (why don't I just say 174?). I have one of those analog (hee hee) scales, so it's mostly up to my interpretation and lousy eyesight. No workout today since I missed yoga and have a meeting tonight, and probably no workout tomorrow unless I get up mega early since I have to bring my car in for work and after work is community band night. It's easy to rationalize that I need a break anyway, but I don't want to miss any opportunity to keep that lovely number right where it is or lower!

Yesterday was terrible with the cravings too, and I really should have gone home and taken my pre-TOM herbal remedy but I didn't. I think I ate like 2 chocolate-covered graham cookies and 2 chocolate-chip (not cafeteria, unfortunately) cookies. Much better than past binges, but a binge nevertheless. And I know it's due to work. Did I forget to mention that yet? I am feeling demotivated and don't have any desire to do what I'm supposed to be doing, and it's very difficult to push myself to do it. I have my massage school interview next week at the other choice school, and then I will decide, so hopefully that will keep the fires burning and the light growing at the end of that tunnel.