Recovery sucks, just like losing weight

Well, it's been almost 3 months since my accident & surgery, and I'm still not effing walking. !#$%&*!!! It's extremely hard not to get discouraged. I really thought I'd be back to "normal" now, and trying to just get my muscle tone back. But I CAN'T EVEN WALK. *big-mother-effing-sigh*

So I've noticed the pattern that resembles exercise/eating right/losing weight. 2 steps forward, 1 step back. Some days I can straighten my leg (I'm still 15 degrees away from 0, not good) and breathe through my leg exercises and I'm ok. Other days it kills to get anywhere near straight, and at PT I'm sobbing on the table. But I know if I don't do my exercises every day, that I will significantly delay the healing process, and PT will suck that much more.

Today happens to be a good day, and in some ways I can feel things finally loosening up. My PT suspects I have some scar tissue buildup that is pinching & pulling when I try to straighten out and/or bend and/or do anything with my leg at all. So I've been cranking on it each morning, using my thumbs to rub, rub, rub it away, and I think it might actually be helping. But I'm afraid to think that, because what if I wake up tomorrow and it hurts just as much as before?

I believe I will be returning to work next week PT (PT is such a versatile acronym!), and goddess help me if I have a meeting in the other end of the building, which, when I *could* walk, could easily take almost 10 minutes to get to. Well, the mountain will just have to come to me, won't it now? Interestingly enough, but somehow not surprising, I've been wanting to cram my craw with food food food. Can you tell I don't want to go back to work? I can!

Please send your healing thoughts my way - I could really use them. That, and some hope.