This is so hard

*sigh* It was very difficult to get up this morning, and all I wanted was coffee. Eeeevil coffee, which I am "back on", much to my bf's chagrin. He's been trying very hard to steer me away from it (the 10-minute back & forth on sunday was entertaining)("I want coffee." "No, you don't." "Yes, I do, and I'm going to make some." "Sweetie, you really don't want coffee. Remember how proud you were of yourself for getting off it last month?" "Yes, I know, but I want some, and I'm going to have some." back and forth and back and forth and then: "Well, I'm going to have some anyway - do you want some?" "N---yes." Uh-HUH!!! The truth comes out. Of course, *he's* not the one trying to get off coffee!), the poor dear. I'm fortunate that he is so supportive, in a loving (not nagging) way. I do appreciate it. Maybe some of you can relate to that knowing-yet-not-doing. I can totally nod my head in vigorous agreement with Jonathan's post from yesterday (3/28) over at SDP - "oh, what the heck!". Indeed.

So I went to yoga last night, and the very-nice-teacher let the kids take the class with us. I love to see them trying new things out (we do have a kids yoga tape at home that they've done before, but this class is geared towards adults), and they're such great kids. They did quite well, and I'm incredibly jealous of their flexibility!!! I try not to compare myself to others in the class, but I did kinda notice that I'm pretty flexible too, except for my very tight hamstrings. A massage therapist that I met during my training told me that she used to have her boyfriend walk on her hamstrings to get them to relax. WALK on them! I understand that they are very big muscles, so it takes a lot to get them to stretch out? I don't want to spread false info, but I can certainly relate.

My son decided that srivasana (sp?), which is the "corpse" or relaxation pose usually done at the end for 5-10 minutes (or longer if you're lucky), was the best part of class. Who wouldn't agree with that?! Isn't that why we *do* yoga? Hee hee, it was pretty cute.

Anyway, to continue the GMST (see yesterday's post) theme, I did get to the post office to get a package mailed out, and got another package ready to go (but need bf's help to finish, so didn't complete this task), and I got to yoga, and I made a healthy dinner (grilled marinated chix w/asparagus and cooked carrots (raw for me)). That was about it. Oh, and finished (FINISHED! CAUGHT UP! At least until tonight, when there will be more dirty clothes. Always with the dirty clothes around here, geez louise!) laundry. Then we crashed in front of the boob tube to watch a few episodes of the s1mpsons season six (alliteration!) and go to bed, since I was wiped from being up so late from the night before.

So I was in bed by 10 - why the hell was/am I so tired this morning?! I had a sorta unpleasant dream about work right before I woke up, so perhaps that is troubling me subconsciously? I was nude, and one of the management folks here was trying to bring through some guests, and so I had to wrap myself in army green curtains until they went through, and my supervisor was pointing out that these curtains were from IK3A! Aren't they lovely! And I was like "why are you pointing out the lovely curtains that I am shielding myself with?!?!". I'm sure my former massage classmates would have a field day analyzing that one (they used to analyze each other's dreams, to some funny ends). Oh, and my clothes in my closet (which wasn't my closet) were a complete mess and someone had moved them from my true closet (which still wasn't my real closet). Dreams are whacked.

I am tired and annoyed and irritable and it's not even pms time, and all I wanted was coffee (check) and some sweet or fattening food (no check, thankfully!). I was running late (naturally - I stayed in bed as long as possible) and so have eaten a ka$hi granola bar for breakfast. It could be worse, right? RIGHT? I have an orange and some yogurt and a little gouda cheese wheel (the mini, individually-wrapped ones, can't remember the brand - babyb3l?), and greens/peppers/carrots and steamed zucchini/summer squash for lunch, and leftover rice/beans. So I'm good. And I'm doing a practice massage tonight, so that is always good to reconnect me to why I'm really here.

Please give me the strength to not succumb to "oh, what the heck!"!!! And may I continue to GMST.