40 days

of posts. How's that for consistency?

Let me say that it's like a bazillion times better than my eating. Sugar cycle in full force - I'm not very proud of my eating right now. I'm procrastinating and not eating the food I bring, and searching out sugar right and left. I spent a bit of time reading about recovering food addicts and eating plans - inspired by reading Frances Kuffel's Passing for Thin. I briefly considered joining OA or something along those lines but acknowledged that the higher power thing would not work for me right now (I'm more of a goddess gal), the meetings would not work with my schedule (I fully acknowledge that I could make it work if I wanted to), and I don't think I would do well with such a tightly-regimented eating plan for now. Who knows what the future will bring?

I do know that I can't continue with this compulsive sugar eating.

Thankfully I am still working out and my house is in pretty good order. The other day I got my bathroom shelves cleaned up/out and scrubbed down the shower, so that made me feel good. What is *wrong* with me? hahaha Oh wait, I know - I'm a perfectionist. Blech.

Yoga for the past two nights (followed by some good ol' compulsive sugar eating in seclusion - so healthy!). I walked for a few minutes outside yesterday, and Saturday was a nice one-hour-plus stroll tugging a toddler in a wagon for probably half of that time - what a gorgeous day!

I have a practice massage tonight (the one rescheduled from last week), so look forward to connecting to my self and higher purpose. I keep blaming work for my compulsive sugar eating, but am worried that I am using it as a big excuse. It truly is stressful and painful and unpleasant at work, so I'm hoping that once school starts in June, I will be able to channel that energy into something more positive and constructive.

In the meantime, though, I need to stop the destructive behavior. I'm figuring that out and will check in on it, as ugly as it is. I really debated even admitting it here, but I'm glad that I did.

I still don't understand why, but I'm holding strong here at 175. I'm trying to see what the lesson is?!?!

I won't discuss my atrocious breakfast and coffee for the morning, but my afternoon has this in store (and I *WILL* eat it today instead of sugar): lentil veggie soup, rye crackers, gouda mini-wheel, orange, yogurt with strawberries/bananas (premixed, not home-added). I have pumpkin & sunflower seeds (unroasted/unsalted) as well as some natural crunchy PB and the crackers if need be. Tonight is grilled chicken/asparagus/broccoli. I need to go produce shopping as well since we're out of veggies & fruit at home.

One day at a time, sister, one day. at. a. TIME!