Fitty (per)cent

Went to the dr's this morning, and I can now put 50% of my weight on my right leg, which is terrific. I can also take off the brace now & then, and even better, sleep without it! The scar is healing nicely, and I can now start massaging it, which will hopefully help it heal, re-align the tissue underneath so the scar doesn't look as bad. It's really not *that* bad, especially comparing it to post-surgery, when I had 20+ staples and the skin was bunched up like a monorail track, yuck!

The skin on my leg has been in pretty bad shape, peeling and very dry. Probably due to the lack of regular circulation, lack of breathing due to the brace, and rubbing from the brace. It's still pretty numb to the right and under my knee, which is the opposite of what I would expect, given that my incision is on the left. I know nerves run weird ways, though, so...the dr. said I may always have a numb spot.

He hopes to have me up to full weight-bearing in a couple of weeks, although it will still be awhile before I can drive.

It was SOSOSOSOSOSO nice to leave the house today! I hadn't been out in a month. The daffodils and other spring plants are halfway up, and some have their pretty little yellow buds waiting to explode. It's only been in the 40's/50's, although I think it's supposed to hit 60 today.

I guess it will be longer than I thought before I can return to exercising fully, since the fracture takes about 3 months to heal fully, which puts me until at least mid-May. In the grand scheme of life, a few extra weeks is no big deal. Especially considering how many months I've gone without exercising in the past! Still, when you are not allowed to do something, don't you just want to do it all the more?

I'm feeling much more hopeful and optimistic. I've learned a lot about myself during this period, and I'm sure have more to learn in the next month or so, and beyond. I've recaptured some of my inner joy and love, my pure untarnished zest for life. It's been awhile, folks. On my worst days, I was worried it was gone forever. I know my work situation has been part of the reason for burying it away, and I look forward to moving into my new career as a massage therapist, and doing what I was put here to do. Patience, sweet xena, patience.

Update

First, I want to thank the lovely BethK over at Scale & Perspective for bringing me some yummy vegan curry and gorgeous purple tulips - thanks!!! It's really cool what the internet can bring us.

Second, I'm less than a week away from my dr's appt, where I am hoping he will tell me I can start putting weight on my right leg/foot. I've already missed 3 of my kids' activities because I am housebound, and it sucks!

Third, I am remaining fairly calm and un-stir-crazy, but I have a feeling the warm spring weather will dash that to pieces. It's wonderful to have my window cracked open, even if it's still a little chilly. I am still trying to be open to the possibilities that this event has given me, and what I maybe haven't been paying attention to? I know shifting over to massage therapy is huge for me. I also know my kids are getting to the age when communication becomes even more vital, and I don't want to lose them in teenage-land.

My scar is healing beautifully, and I should take a picture and post it. It's something alright! My ex-husband suggested tattoing a flower at the top of it, or perhaps a centipede design around it. He can be a real dink most of the time, but I thought those suggestions were funny.

I miss working out. I do need to pull out my hand weights and work on my upper body, and I hope to be starting outpatient PT in early April to get my atrophied right leg muscles back up to par.

What the #$%^ happened????

Well, I broke my friggin' tibia, that's what. On 2/17 I went snow tubing and went feet-first, way too fast, into the inflatable barriers.

MF. And a whole bunch of other curses.

I spent 6 days in the hospital and they cut me open (about 6-7 inches long, I kid you not) to put a plate on my bone. I guess I done effed it up good.

So here it is, a month later, and I still can't put any weight on it (dr's orders). Probably won't be able to until the end of the month. It's my right leg so I won't be driving probably until late April, if I'm lucky.

*sigh*

My exercise consists of lifting my leg brace to and from the pillows on the couch and my bed, and hopping around on my walker.

Why did this happen? It totally effed up my massage school completion, which is now pushed off until August. Grrrrr

I haven't been doing vegan since I can't cook for myself, but my bf is at least keeping me vegetarian. I know I've gained weight since I'm just lying around, eating pre-easter chocolate.

yeah, I'm feeling sorry for myself.

Anyway, catch you when I'm back up and running, unless I find something else besides the interesting paint job on my ceiling to write about.