Halfway point

Well, I'm halfway through the semester and halfway through my massage school career, so wahoo!

I fear I am also halfway back to gaining back all the weight I've lost since last November, boohoo!

Eating has been for shinola, and exercise....what the hell is that?

I need a bunch more practice hours; thankfully my sometimes-saturdays class is off again (after tomorrow) until December, although I need to write a paper (?!?! I haven't done that since college!)...at least I can schedule some practice in. My business class is done, so that's at least a few hours a week less reading/writing/creating business schtuff.

I wish I were one of those people who lost their appetite when they are stressed. Even when I've had the option of semi-healthy choices (salad bar at our work cafe), I've been chosing french fries and comfort food. I don't suppose it helps that we're packing up our office to move several hundred feet down the street, and I have to go to a convention so be packed up fully by next Wednesday, UGH!

Oh, and do my normal work.

I can't wait for the holidays.

Signs that my life is insane

Packing up my son's snacks/lunch for the day in the parking lot of the school after an early-morning trip to the local health food chain to buy allergy-friendly foods because he had run out. We even remembered to bring baggies from home!

The bf has been amazing in keeping up with the weekly food changes for him, but didn't realize he was out of school snacks. I'm very thankful to have his help right now (always).

Please don't go

I am still enjoying this calm feeling, and hope it sticks around, even though I'm not sure where it came from. It doesn't matter, as long as it stays!

No coincidences - my eating was very good yesterday. I hit 5 fruits/veggies, which hasn't been happening much lately. I didn't eat ANY chocolate, and the only processed sugar was in my half-decaf coffee. I was going to have a PB&J when I got home after school late last night, but my sweet bf had made up a cute plate of leftovers (broccoli, orange-ginger beef, and butternut squash soup w/basmati rice). I couldn't finish the soup so brought it for class tonight. I also brought yogurt, baby carrots, some peppers, and hummous for today.

No exercise yesterday or today, but am planning on doing laps during son's soccer practice tomorrow...

In competition with no one but myself

I need to stop comparing my progress (or lack of it) with others.

For some reason, I am feeling less anxious. Ever since our 5-year-anniversary getaway last weekend, I've been feeling much calmer and more assured of myself and the things that I need to do. I guess I don't need to know why (the analytical xena does, though!) - I am definitely grateful for it, so I'll leave it at that.

Wednesday I did laps around the soccer/baseball fields in the drizzle while the son had soccer practice - 40 minutes worth. I was definitely pooped by the end, and I know I've lost some stamina. But it felt good to be moving.

Yesterday I got outside in the beautiful new england fall sunshine to play football/baseball catch and some grass hockey with the daughter. I tackled her needlessly/out of turn and we had a blast.

I'm behind on my practice hours but cruising on my reading/written homework. I need to recruit my friends & family and get some dates/times set for practicing massage on them.

I can't wait to decorate for Halloween - it's my favoritest holiday ever. We pulled the boxes upstairs yesterday and I plan to have my homework done by tonight so that we can do it up, wooboo!

I've come to some clarity about working with "people of size" in my future massage business and the connections to my own struggle with weight issues, my mother/partner/friends being overweight, and the issues of non-judgmental touch. It scares and exhilarates me, but I know my own journey has its purposes. My fear has subsided about my ability to support myself financially, despite the hard facts of therapists I know that have had to return to a corporate job to support themselves, the rising competition, my current lifestyle (living in an overpriced town where I can only afford to rent so that the kids get a great education). I know this is what I am meant to do and I believe that the clients will come and some of them will stay for a spell, or a lifetime.

Today the bf & I plan to bike down to the local cemetary and check out the gorgeous foliage. I am fortunate to live in this part of the country! Maybe the farm stand will be open, too...

It must be Tuesday

Time for check-in!

Yes, it's pitiful that I've been reduced to once/week. Unfortunately, it's the only "reducing" going on in my life right now. *sigh*

The bf & I went away this w/e for our 5-year anniversary (hoopy-doo!) to an adorable seaside B&B that had daily yoga and onsite massage. The weather was effing AMAZING. We soooo needed to get away. I was wound up so tight when we arrived friday night that my trap muscles could have sliced through stone. By Sunday night, I was peaceful enough to nap on & off and still sleep soundly all night.

I'm sure this was aided by the walking and ocean air. Negative ions, y'know. We walked probably around 2-3 miles along the water and in the touristy little towns on Saturday, and then another couple of miles on Sunday, again along the ocean. Gorgeous. It felt good to be moving again.

I also did one of the yoga classes, which was so wonderful. I miss yoga. And I had a massage before we left yesterday, and then we walked into town to get some evil coffee (with real steamed water! The bf thought that was, well, bizarre). I was sad to leave.

I feel blobby and disconnected, which just makes me want to eat more junk. I did strive to have fruit and veggies over the weekend, which was accomplished, but I had a lot of coffee and treats too. Good thing Halloween is coming! I hate chocolate!

184 and homework up the ying-yang :-(

'nuff said.