Backsliding

But not for long! Yesterday was very emotional for me (I heard back from the relative whom I wrote the letter to, and work just really really really sucked), so I guess I should not be surprised that I turned to food. I did ok when I sat down to lunch - I actually wasn't hungry (1 slice ww toast w/mozzarella cheese, 1 egg, and 2 slices of bacon for breakfast, which probably didn't help) and didn't have my food, just some water, but then ended up eating my coworker's piece of garlic bread. And bitching for almost 10 minutes - at least it seemed that long. Not amazingly, I actually felt SO much better after talking about it. Then a couple hours later, I was finally hungry, and had my soy yogurt/soy granola. Then before school, discovered leftover meeting pizza in the kitchen, and had a slice & a half. It did have some artichokes on it, but that was about it. Munched on trail mix on the way to school.

Then I bought a king size pb cup, and ate a cup at a time, in between class and then on the way home. I also had my granola bar and cheese wheel at break. Then I stopped for a small ice cream (m00se tracks, yum!) on the way home, which was now around 10:30 p.m.. *sigh* I guess things could have been worse, but I definitely was very aware of what I was doing and still chose to do it. Progress, I guess.

No big surprise, but the feelings are still there! Why didn't they go away? I'm being very sarcastic here, in case it wasn't obvious. I will not let it spiral into something that lasts 3 days, a week. I'm going on vacation next week (hanging around home with day trips to the beach, woohoo!) so will need to make sure that there is good food around, but we'll probably end up eating out more often. I also would love to get some serious exercise in, even if it's alternative (playing at the beach, hiking, biking, etc). I don't know if I'll be posting much.

I have homemade black beans, salad stuff, just had 2 cute little tasty apricots, soy yogurt, cheese wheels, grapes. I'm hanging in there.

Ups and downs

I've been doing ok with food, and finally got some exercise. Friday night, elliptical and shoulders/back. Last night, elliptical and chest/arms. Gave 4 polarity sessions on Saturday. Did my yoga tape this morning. Didn't sign up for the yoga pass this time around at the Y since I know my schedule will not work with the classes, but have 3 great yoga tapes/dvd's to use.

The downs include: 2 decaf coffees on Friday, one yesterday. Work has REALLY sucked ass. I visited the vending machine, which I haven't done in a couple of months, and enjoyed myself some pb & chocolate. I am trying to identify if it's due to cravings (not correct TOM), anxiety and anger about work, or what.

I've been eating a lot of fruit and veggies, and made up a bunch of different kinds of beans with cilantro, onion, and chicken bouillion (sp?). I froze up most of it for easy grab-n-go for work/class, and brought a container to last me a few days. I have my salad stuff, hummous & carrots, soy/regular yogurt, granola, granola bars, cheese wheels.

The scale is back down to 173, so woohoo! I'm loving the energy that I have, and the way that work motivates me to push through my homework & practice sessions with a serious drive, staying up late, getting up early. It is ALL worth it!

How you feeling? Hot hot hot!

Home early due to thought-the-kid-had-chicken-pox-but-it's-just-a-viral-rash, yippee! And boy is it sticky up here on the second floor of our pad. I mean crib. I wouldn't want to date myself by using outdated slang, y'know.

I'm enjoying school, even though it's very time-consuming. I'm loving the practice work. I'm tolerating the A&P stuff, trying to do it from a place of curiousity and love for the work rather than "I hafta". Sometimes that works for me, sometimes not.

Good eating is slowly declining, and I'm not sure what's up. Am I overwhelmed? yes, definitely at times. Am I bored? No. Am I still sick of work? Yes, and that's probably part of it - I'm eating to procrastinate and distract myself. It doesn't help that I haven't gotten my heart rate up, except for the school nurse calling me today. That doesn't count because it only lasted a few minutes instead of 30-45. I shared a blt with the son today, and french fries. Then I had a bar of chocolate. I'm craving ice cream. Any veggies today? Y'mean besides the non-nutritious white lettuce and tomatoes drowing in mayo? Nope. Fruit? Yes, I had an orange. Hoopey-doo.

I plan to work out tomorrow night. Weekend is mostly school stuff, including an all-day class on sunday. Maybe I'll walk with the bf or something nice outside. I haven't been getting much fresh air lately.

Gotta Go

Work crazy. Food ok. 0re0 cookies in house bad idea (but it's for the KIDS!). No exercise bad. Too much anxiety and emotion, not enough movement. School almost done for kids - waHOO! Scale back up to 175, booHOO! Mailed letter to relative...relief, sadness. Need to go veggie/fruit shopping very soon. Overall, just ducky.

I wanna go home

and pull the covers up over my head. After I turn on the AC, of course. I don't know why I'm having such a lousy shitty eff-y day. I just want to punch something or someone. I'm not even pms'ing, so WTF?!?!

*warning: long ranting post ahead*

My eating was pretty terrible over the weekend, and I woke up around 4:30 on sunday morning feeling like I was going to puke from all the crap that was still not digested, because there was a backlog of crap, I'm sure, that prevented it from even getting to my digestive system. Included was guacamole, tortilla chips, tuna finger sandwich (disgusting! Fingers!), 2 chemical-tasting test tube shots (like scented markers!), a very spicy buffalo wing, some taco dip. 2 strawberry frozen daquiris w/freshly picked strawberries (hey, some fruit!). And rum. Some shepherd's pie. 3-4 bites of bday cake with lots of yummy sugary frosting. That was just the first party. It really wasn't that much food, just a little of each, but I was still pretty full. I'm sure the combination of everything wasn't so good for my digestion either, and I've been eating pretty well so my tummy was not happy by the end of the night. The second party was a little more guacamole/chips (guess what we brought to both parties?), a cheeseburger with some SALAD, and a few more bites of bday cake with more yummy sugary frosting. Plus 3 green apple sm1rnoff's and another kind of wine cooler. Blech.

Yesterday was 5 hours of blazing humidity and heat, sitting around watching my daughter's softball tournament (their team won ALL 7 games!!!! champions!!!). Drinking a ton of water to rehydrate from the day before and also not pass out from the heat. I had a slice of veggie pizza, way too many chocolate chip cookies (5 or 6, maybe?), some salad, a few chips/salsa. A teeny brownie. Some watermelon. Dinner was leftover tacos (just one, with a lot of sour cream). And then I had a small bowl of chocolate ice cream. And then I cracked open the chocolate cream cookies, and had about 6 of those. Then I stopped and made myself drink water and not eat anything else. Yeah, something is up, you think?!

My theories include:

• I wrote a letter to a relative that I've really been struggling with relationship-wise; it was a continuation of my hand-held tape recording of last week. It was good to get it down on paper (a much nicer version than what I originally said, which was my intention - do the brutally honest version first, then clean it up for public consumption), but still upsetting. *sigh*
• I didn't study Friday night. I didn't study at all on Saturday. I tried to study last night but I think I was feeling so overwhelmed, and then the tape recorder got stuck, etc. So I know that when I am feeling pressured about something, I tend to eat for comfort. Also as a form of procrastination.
• My house is starting to fall behind again, and that is frustrating. Plus it was like 900 degrees in our apartment last night and the last thing I wanted to do (next to homework, of course) was to pick up etc. in the heat. We retreated to the air-conditioned bedroom. It's hard to do dishes in there. It also brings back memories of last summer, when it was horribly hot & humid for most of the summer and therefore many evenings were spent closed up in the air-conditioned bedroom, and the house was a disaster, and I was working 12 million hours and only got to the beach once and got a crappy bonus this year DESPITE all of my hard work. It was a very depressing time, and the heat of last night brought it back, I do believe.
• Eating well is challenging and scary for me, long-term. I'm afraid I'm going to fall off the wagon. I desire the comfort more than I desire the long-term benefits, at times, in the moment. I miss the hell out of coffee (I had a small iced decaf on saturday, and that was it). I don't want to have to work and go to school and be the financial support for my kids and have that all hanging over my head, going to a job that I despise more and more. I just don't WANNA.

So those are all legitimate theories about my eating last night. I knew I wouldn't eat very well at the parties, and had already accepted that. Same with the softball shindig. But then to get home and eat more crap intentionally - no so good, and I knew there were some emotions there that I was choosing to not feel. So lesson learned there, I hope. Back on track for today. Raisin bread toasted with some natural PB and a slice of bf's bacon for breakfast (sounds dirty, eh?). More water today. Getting ready for lunch, which is sliced cukes/tomatoes/spices and I think I forgot my feta cheese so will use some flaxseed oil and my cheese wheel instead for protein. Orange, blueberries, soy yogurt, granola as snacks. Dinner is leftovers from fridge, which includes some veggies, so I'm good there. *sigh*

No workouts this weekend either. I'm sure that doesn't help with the moodiness or eating discipline. Nothing in sight until maybe Friday night? Unless I get up early one of the mornings.

Lessons

#1 I have been feeling too full all week from breakfast. I decided to measure my portion today, and did 1/2 cup shredded something-or-other (wheat? oat?) and 1/2 cup ginger granola - it was about the same or a little less than I have been eating and it was still too much, which is probably good since the serving size should be closer to 2/3 or 3/4 of a cup. Blueberries on top, yum! They are very mild and sweet right now. And soy milk - will measure that tomorrow.

#2 I can get by on less. These past few weeks, I think my stomach has shrunk, because I get 80% full pretty quickly during my meals, which have also been smaller. It's been a learning for me on stopping (eating) when I start to feel full, which I started to learn at kripalu. It's challenging sometimes.

#3 Getting off coffee is definitely smart for my body. Less anxiety (although that's been creeping back up, along w/my impatience, due to lack of stress-busting cardio workouts), less cravings, no sugar/fat vicious cycle setup, weight coming off faster. Again, I am fully aware that it is mostly due to the half/half & sugar that I would put in it. The cup or two on the weekends might be a safe way to keep the desire at bay. I definitely still miss it. A lot.

#4 School has been an excellent new place for my energy etc., and I find that I'm not medicating with food when work is shitty. Yeah, I was counting the days down before, but now it means something concrete, as I do something every day to get me closer to a new career. Yeah xena! It has also been great in the no-snacking-at-night arena.

#5 I am getting better at being picky about the treats that I do have, which I haven't been denying myself (just in MUCH smaller portions!!!). I have discovered that I really don't like cake or brownies (unless they're really moist/chewy) or most vanilla or fruit-flavored things. I go for the chocolate (only if it's *good* chocolate, though!) or ice cream with smooshies or chocolate chip cookie. I don't tend to have something just because it's sweet & it's there.

#6 Ditto for eating more veggies & less starchy-type stuff. I'm not a proponent of low-carb by *any* means, but I notice that I would prefer to get my veggies and protein (too much still makes me gag, though), and by then I'm often full. Plus I still eat corn and sweet potatoes and granola and cereals, so I'm not really missing anything.

#7 Speaking of medicating my feelings, I was extremely frustrated at the end of work yesterday, and I'm still not clear why (I have a good idea about most of it, but some of it still doesn't make sense). I had my long ride to school, made even longer by the POURING rain and traffic, and I didn't put any music or spoken-word CD's on. I sat with the feelings. I pored over them. I analyzed them. I felt the frustration and anger and irritation, even though I didn't know the full source. I named the feelings, and let them go through me, and I felt so much better afterwards. I also had my handheld tape recorder for school, and had the brilliant idea to talk about what was going on, which is always powerful for me (vs. just thinking about it or writing it down) - there is something about speaking aloud that has such impact on my ability to get through/over things.

#8 Despite the power of speaking aloud, I am very glad that I started this blog. It has become a place to record my successes and my disappointments, my good eating habits and my not-so-great habits. It is good for accountability for me, and it keeps me focused (most of the time) on what my fitness/health goals are. I have no idea about the impact it might have on others, but it is working wonders for me. Thank you, cyberspace, for listening.

Happy that it's clicking

(started Tuesday) I hate this feeling of "gosh I'm doing so well with food, but when will it fall apart again?". I suppose it's mostly due to lack of long-term success in that arena to prove that I truly can do it. It was easy at kripalu where they made great vegetarian/vegan food all day long and I had plenty of spiritual/physical/emotional fulfillment, but here in real life, with real-life pains and obstacles, it ain't so easy. It makes me angry that I am waiting for the other shoe to drop instead of congratulating and celebrating my successes. I need to anchor to that positive feeling.

Since it's only my second week of school, and the kids are almost done for the summer, I am waiting out the exercise planning piece. I don't know if I'm just feeling a tad overwhelmed with trying to juggle each day (I think I've already done about 6 or 7 hours of homework in the past week, plus 1.5 hours of hands-on practice - I know I'm going a bit cuckoo on the homework, i.e. reading it all, but I am truly interested by the subjects at hand (hahaha!)).

(completed Wednesday, whoops!) Where the hell was I? Oh yeah - exercise. I find it easier to schedule exercise when the kids are out of school/with their dad, as I can sleep a little later, and still get to the gym and get back in plenty of time to get to work in the mornings. I may not sign up for yoga for the summer, given that I miss many of the classes, and would be better off doing the elliptical/weights and save that money. I'll have to see how that goes.

I did well again last night, not eating after school, although I was super hungry (I had my granola bar & cheese wheel at break) - the challenge with bringing more to eat at snack is that we only get 15-20 minutes for break, and part of that is spent in line for the little girl's room. Plus I don't want to eat a lot if we're going to be practicing massage on each other - it's not exactly conducive to digestion. I drink a ton of water while I'm in class, and usually go through my 32-oz bottle. Of course, I did have a d0ve ice cream bar in the afternoon, and also a chocolate chunk cookie. Oops! Overall the calories were fine, but the quality of those calories was so-so with the treats.

Despite this, the lovely scale read 173 this morning! I'm sure it's a fluke, but it's nice to see it down there. I think the last time I was at that weight was probably between the birth of my daughter and son, about 11 years ago. Sad...we'll see what the next few days bring. I had another chocolate chunk cookie at lunch (there was free lunch from a leftover meeting) and a bag of chips. Hmm...

It could have been worse.

So, the weekend was challenging in terms of lots of unhealthy choices within arm's reach. Saturday was my daughter's bday party, replete with chips, cheesy poofs, pizza, pizza, pizza, soda, chocolate (ugh!), and naturalement, cake and ice cream. I was pretty good about having only what I really wanted and stopping when I felt full, although the cake/ice cream pushed that to the limit. I only had a teensy piece of cake w/frosting, and a few scoops of sherbert & ice cream. Oh, and decaf coffee. Yes, I'm afraid if I don't have it once in awhile, until I get used to not drinking it all the time, that I will binge on it instead. I don't want it to feel like deprivation. My kids keep saying I'm on a DIET and I don't view it that way. These are lifetime changes that I am slowly making, one bite at a time.

Yesterday was the scout picnic, and the choices were cheeseburgers (check, just one), hot dogs (nope), chips (one only, believe it or not), assorted potato salads (nope). Oh yeah, and dessert. Well check check check on that. They had little cookie bars (bite-sized, practially), of which I had 3, and one chocolate-chip cookie. I did have real coffee at my mom's during breakfast, and a piece of french toast w/syrup and some yummy bacon. Dinner was one slice of pesto/mushroom/artichoke pizza, which didn't agree with my digestion at all (there was quite a bit of oil in the pesto).

I apologize if cataloging my food intake is boring, but it's important to me and my growth (or shrinkage, hahaha!). It definitely helps me see patterns and be honest about that little bite of something-or-other that can add up to more calories than I have convinced myself that I've consumed.

It certainly helps that I haven't been eating anything after dinner. Saturday night after the party, I had some baby carrots and water while I was doing my homework, and that was it! I was very proud of myself. Last night I just had water while doing homework, although the bf snuck in a spoonful of B&J since he was having some too. The last time (2 years ago) that I was studying for a whole semester (trying to get my professional certification in my current field), my homework tendencies were to snack on stuff. I don't want to start that habit this time, especially given the subject (massage, which I want to be in great shape for, including off caffeine/refined sugar), and the length of time (almost a year).

The lack of exercise is a bit disconcerting, as expected. I did get to ellipt/lift on Friday night. The party was indoors due to the weather, so not much movement there expect up/down the stairs a dozen times. The picnic was somewhat active, mostly walking and playing catch. Tonight I still have homework and some practicing to do, so I'm not sure about 7:30 yoga yet (it's gentle anyway, which is better than nothing, but not very cardio-inducing).

We have healthy food again for the week. I have leftover pizza (maybe not good for the digestion again???), the rest of the chickpea stew, some peppers, a banana, a peach, granola bar, soy yogurt. The usual. Cheese wheel. Daughter is making (organic) mac/cheese with tuna/corn, and side of peppers. I have some cukes & tomatoes that I will cut up for some more greek salad (with feta), yum! Maybe beans on Thursday night.

I feel good about my improved eating and applaud my restraint at night for no snacking. I feel more energetic and "lighter", although I'm still a little under 175. A totally amazing thing that may/may not be related - I got my TOM about 4 days earlier, and had NO sugar/food cravings!!! And no PMS!!! And no associated physical symptoms!!! This period (ha ha ha, no pun intended) of time usually sends me into a food tailspin. It was a big shock to find Auntie Flo in town with no warning, but always welcomed with open arms :-)

I feel asleep during the CD last night, but got further than I usually do. I plan to listen to the car-approved second track (since it's not hypnotic/relaxation, I guess!) of affirmations on the way to/from school this week.

Seventy-six post-ings and a red guitarrrrrr

TGIF, mofo wifi!

It's been an interesting week food-wise. I think the eating obsessions CD is starting to sink in. I went to a work fx yesterday and they had burgers and chips and realllly garlicky potato sald. I only had a few chips and 2 spoonsful of the salad, and a cheeseburger with cheese/tomato/completely nutritionally devoid iceberg lettuce. I only got through about 2/3 of the burger and had to stop, as I was feeling full. It was hard to put the burger down. And to leave it there through about 35 minutes of boring presentations. But I did! And I felt great!

This has happened several other meals, and although I didn't stop every time, I have stopped more often than not. It's truly fascinating to me, and again I am reminded of how little food I needed at kripalu, where I was quite active every day (yoga, walks, lots of giving massages, up/down 4 flights of stairs several times/day). Of course, that was all really healthy good food.

I have been sticking to great choices this week. Had a half-cream-cheese brownie here, a small serving of B&J there, but otherwise eating lots of veggies and fruit, and smaller portions. Oh, and NO coffee and NO teecino, just water! And I haven't eaten when I've gotten home from school at 10:30, even though I am a little hungry - just water & bed. Go Xena!

This has been a double blessing, because my exercise has been for shit. I did make it to the elliptical Weds. morning but haven't done anything since, not even walking (continual rain AGAIN!). I plan to get to the Y tonight for some ellipt/lifting. Tomorrow is insanity day due to daughter's bday at my mother's house, which is not close by at all, plus I still have to shop and then cart most of her friends with us. I'm proud of my daughter for having both boys/girls as friend, and a bit envious and amazed, as I *never* had that assortment of sexes for friends when I was her age! She is rather tomboyish, so perhaps that helps.

Sunday is scouts picnic, so I'm hoping the weather clears up (HA!) and we can go swimming at the pond there, or play some catch football or softball.

The most interesting piece of all is that my weight is back down to 175 and maybe a bit under! I'm probably just losing muscle, argh!

Oh, lovely surprise workout, how I adore thee!

So I was woken up this morning at around 5:15 by the local train, thanks a lot. And by "thanks a lot", I mean "WTF, dude?!". I opened the slider and got back into bed, the sound of the rain and the fresh air somehow *not* lulling me back to sleep. Grrr! So I decided to walk to the Y and workout instead, given my lack of exercise this past week or so. I did chest/arms and then walked/jogged back home to get my daughter up for school. It felt great!

I've been listening to the eating obsessions CD for two nights now. My bf helped me get it onto my mp3 player so that I could listen to it while I was in bed and then just go right to sleep afterwards instead of trying to find a comfortable space in the living room w/o disturbing the house with the noise. I did fall asleep Monday night, but last night I was able to stay awake through it (probably because I was winding down from school. Did I mention that I'm in SCHOOL and I LOVE it and I only have 259 more days at work? Hmm?). It's very helpful in terms of good reminders around eating.

I made some miso soup w/veggies, which is something I discovered (for breakfast, mind you) at kripalu. I'm amazed at how satisfying it is and continues to be for a good few hours. I had it for breakfast this morning. I have the chickpea stew w/spinach for lunch, and more of my greek veggie salad (cukes/tomatoes/feta w/spices). A tangerine, some blueberries, a granola bar for SCHOOL which I have TONIGHT, ya-frickin-hoo! Cheese wheel, soy yogurt.

On the way home last night (from SCHOOL) I was listening to a tape series on relationships etc. and it brought up stuff from my childhood/current relationship that had me in tears. Feeling those feelings, I guess. I was going to dive into my trail mix stash in the car, but then realized I wasn't hungry (thank you, weight loss CD!), and had a nice little cry. Very healing.

It feels good to be eating well, to have a clean house, and to be in SCHOOL. I was home by 10:45 last night, and didn't feel too tired. This is the effect that I was hoping/waiting for. More energy, moving forward, chasing my dreams. I love it!

Back on track, baby!

So the weekend was quite a success in terms of cleaning and food prep, and even some socializing/imbibing. I certainly won't drink like I did on Saturday (see previous post) - today I feel sooooo tired. I think it may have been the chocolate milkshake my daughter gave to me around 7:00 yesterday from her dad's house (is he trying to poison me? Hmmm....) - since I've been cutting down on sugar (does alcohol count?), I think the double whammy of the sugar and the hour combined to give me a sugar hangover today.

The house is nice & clean, I have healthy food prepared for the week (marinated chix, greek salad (cuke/tomato/feta diced up & seasoned, yum!), cut up red/orange/yellow peppers, cauliflower, broccoli; I made a nice chickpea stew with crushed tomatoes and baby spinach; I got some sea & bay scallops for a dish later this week (ok, so the creamy sauce maybe not so healthy - hopefully the kids will at least eat it!); I have fruit (blueberries, tangerines, bananas) and the proverbial soy yogurt & granola). It's weird how the preparedness will often give me more energy - maybe because the worry of "what the eff am I going to make for dinner/bring for lunch?!" is taken away. Oh, and I also made strawberry/rhubarb cobbler - the worst thing about it was the cup + of sugar, but I used whole grain oats on top instead of granola. Better than B&J for a dessert fix.

I plan to go to yoga tonight and then I have school Tues/Weds, so perhaps I will have to make more of an effort to get to that lovely 6 a.m. Thursday yoga class?

Drinking in middle of afternoon = bad idea

Yesterday the bf and I were cleaning the house, which is a rare event (normally the kids do the sweeping/dusting and the rest just waits until I have the time/energy to do it)(I've learned to lower my standards if I want to balance kids/full-time work/sports/exercise/eating right blah blah blah), like scrubbing and that sort of thing. I was going to throw away this goofy "bar set" which we won at a raffle last year - it has little bottles of bar sugar and colored/flavored sugar drink mix on a big metal holder that takes up waaay to much space and we have hardly used the stuff. So anyway, I had it next to the trash, and the bf suggests that we have a little cocktail to use up some of the stuff (he hates throwing stuff out. I love throwing stuff out. I hate clutter!). Mind you, it's only like 1:00 in the afternoon, and we had plans to drive down to the city and visit friends that evening.

So we did it. And it was fun. I can't remember the last time I was that plastered, especially in the middle of the day!!! We hadn't eaten lunch either, which complicated things.

Amazingly enough, we did get a good chunk of the cleaning done. I had a pretty good headache going by the time we left for dinner, and I was starving. I was exhausted pretty early but we didn't get home until 1:30 a.m. Ugh.

So today is to finish the cleaning (they cancelled my daughter's 5 hours of round robin softball due to the weather, so I'm somewhat relieved) and do up some cooking so that I am ready for the week & going to school on Tuesday!

I hope to get to the gym today as well, but my priority is to get this house in order.

Food has been pretty good - no purchases of chocolate or other treats, and I successfully avoided the chocolate-covered cookies in the work kitchen on Friday. Go Xena!

I still miss coffee like the dickens :-(

Ahhhhh....Friday

Orientation was great last night. I now have an armful of books and a renewed energy. I will need it between working full-time, the kids, the bf, continuing to eat healthy and fit in exercise...!

My goal this weekend is to get my house in final order for the summer and get some meals cooked for the week, since I start class on Tuesday & Wednesday night, 6-10. I don't want to fall off track just because I'm running from work to school.

Perhaps some exercise tonight if the daughter doesn't have her softball game. Definitely a workout tomorrow!

Food today - ginger granola/blueberries/soy milk - went a little overboard on portion size - I was hungry from last night! An apple, some more blueberries, orange/yellow peppers and half a rice/bean/cheese burrito. The other half for dinner w/more peppers.

The scale says I'm back to 175, so that's wonderful! Of course, I had a drink-and-a-half last night so may have been dehydrated. I also had a few scoops of ice cream from a local stand (they make their own, so yummy!). It's better for me to do it that way than to try and portion something that's calling my name from the freezer.

Still off coffee. *groan*

Have a loverly weekend all!

It's here!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm so freakin' excited!

Orientation tonight - less than 8 hours away!!!!

'Nuff said.

Exercise - non-existent other than brief strolls.

Coffee - GOOD-BYE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! None this morning. No teecino either. We'll see if the headaches come next.

Food - going out to business lunch today - must order veggies. Have pear & apple, PB, soy yogurt/granola, cheese wheel. Dinner is turkey curry and quinoa/blackbean salad. Bad breath, maybe not so good for first impressions on my fellow students & teachers. Must borrow gum from officemate. Must promise to return it when through.

All right, I'm just being silly. But I'm so GIDDY and it's been so LONG since I've felt this good!